When I was working in corporate, I once had a boss tell me that all the HRBPs from another site, slept with the work phone right next to their pillow to respond immediately (emails/texts/calls) to the VP, HR, or some other perceived urgent matter from their client groups.

“I won’t be doing that.” I boldly said, with my stomach clenched in knots.

As a recovering workaholic, boundaries with myself, and boundaries with my boss, needed to be maintained. I promised myself.

Pretty sure, my response pissed off my boss. Not because I wouldn’t budge and do the same. What a ridiculous suggestion or hint as an expectation!

More so, what I sensed annoyed my boss, my defiance to not let my job take over my life. No longer would I sacrifice my well-being and my health for my job. And I had a feeling her career was more of a priority than her health, at least then.

Besides, I knew the majority of corporate matters could wait for regular business hours. Anytime, I worked on the second/third shift, I knew and planned for it. Of course, longer hours may sometimes be necessary to complete projects, meet deadlines, or resolve a work crisis.

I’m dedicated, at times, over-dedicated. I choose to show up this way.

Yet, I’ve come to realize…Everything is not urgent. Everything doesn’t require an immediate response. And if I reacted that way, people would begin to expect it. It’s called Priorities and Boundaries.

With priorities, there’s a required focus, the right mindset, and the right actions. Otherwise, it feels scattered and like you’re not making any progress or things are not developing further. Whether work or projects, relationships or connections, health and well-being, or something else.

For sure, there’s a way to manage the people who think everything is urgent. That’s communication to reassure them things are under control, so they feel like a priority. For people who lack a sense of urgency, that’s about holding them accountable.

This is the work I continue to do with my clients, coaching and teaching them to have those difficult conversations with grace and ease, align on and manage expectations, and hold others accountable. It involves speaking up and managing up as well.

I also support clients in identifying how they can align their sacrifices with their priorities.

With this in mind, I want to encourage you to consider (Think/ Talk Aloud/Voice Memo/ Journal/Meditate/ Walk/Run):
-        Where are you over-sacrificing? Where are you under-sacrificing?
-        Where are you letting other people’s needs or requests override your needs and requests?
-        Where are you not giving your best to a goal, passion, project, or relationship that’s important to you?

• Maybe you’re not even showing up at all for this.
• Maybe you’re sabotaging or quitting before you even begin or see results.
• Maybe you’re procrastinating, waiting for a more convenient time.
• Maybe you’re holding on tight to your reasons or limitations.

I promise you, waiting or holding on to your reasons doesn’t get you results or what you desire. Intentionally planning does. Intentionally showing up does, even if its imperfect. It’s priorities over convenience that matters. That’s what moves you forward.

Make a List of Your Non-Negotiables
After considering the questions above, I recommend making a list of your non-negotiables to support your priorities.

-        Perhaps you have a daily or weekly list for health/well-being and then a separate one for relationships/connections and another for work/career.
-        Ideally, keep it short, up to 5-8 key practices/actions/characteristics.

This has supported my clients and me in getting back or creating new rituals, practices, and routines. Then, you can figure out the next steps and conversations to make this happen.

For me, my daily non-negotiables (well-being) list includes:
-        Minimum of 6 hours of sleep
-        Meditation/Mindfulness practice
-        Reading pages in a book
-        Daily Workout or some kind of movement like walking my pup
-        Nourishing my body with healthy feel-good-sustainable-energy food
-        Matcha tea/coffee latte in the morning at home
-        Keeping my cell phone out of my bedroom at night
-        Keeping my morning focused on my well-being and my priorities for the day. Typically, these days, I’ll wait until 11a/12p to check my emails.

(When I worked in corporate, I waited at least one hour from waking up to check my work emails. More mindfulness, less frantic feeling.)

May you align your sacrifices with your priorities with grace and ease. I’m here for you.

One other thing, I have a Facebook Live Interview scheduled for Friday, September 22^nd—more details to follow before then. The focus of the discussion will be Drop the Struggle, Stress, & Insecurities! Hope you can join us then!

Anything you’d like for me to cover on the FB Live or upcoming email? Either hit reply on this email (sarina@crself.com), or text or DM me on Instagram to share your thoughts.

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May this inspire you to show up in your life today, tomorrow, and always.
I deeply honor you. Thank-you for being here with me! – Sarina

Sarina Tomel
Leadership/Mindset Coach + HR/Training Consultant
Speaker ~ Writer ~ AdventureSeeker

Sarina is working on a memoir about recovery through running, repeated heartbreak, and healing the trauma.

Sarina teaches and coaches her clients on how to Step up, Speak up, and Stand up for their careers, relationships, and well-being.

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P.S. Besides 1:1 coaching/consulting/strategy sessions, I also partner with my clients on their needs and challenges related to training + coaching workshops, teambuilding or strategy/focus group sessions, and motivational keynote speaking.

Have you noticed any issues or challenges at work that need to be address that’s within my expertise?

If so, let’s connect or get me in touch with your CEO/President/Founder or HR/Training & Development or Events Planner/Communications team!

Check out my Let’s Work Together page for more details. Here’s the link to schedule a consult to discuss further.

i.e. All Communication-Related: Difficult Conversations, Manager + Team Accountability, Managing Up, Speaking up, Aligning on Expectations and Productivity/Performance Concerns and more.