As I walked out of my condo for my morning run, an immediate realization hit me that I couldn’t ignore, “You need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself.” These words echoed in my mind, followed by a sigh of relief for this awareness. And I knew that this was an absolute truth and a huge block for making some of my dreams a reality.

For several days prior, I went to bed, saying a short though powerful prayer that comes from one of my mentor’s books, “I surrender it all. Inner guide, please help me surrender it all.” I know that this awakened this truth of forgiveness being an answer to that prayer. Clearly, I need to amp up my forgiveness practice, so I can claim back my energy lingering behind this block.

As I began to consider the ways I could offer more forgiveness, I recognized how I could forgive myself…

•  Forgive yourself for obsessing about all the what-ifs and being indecisive.
•  Forgive yourself for saying “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”.
• Forgive yourself for not doing enough or for not trying hard enough.
• Forgive yourself for not getting to everything on your daily, weekly, yearly to-do lists.
• Forgive yourself for sleeping in rather than starting your day earlier to accomplish more.
• Forgive yourself for not getting enough sleep and compromising your health.
• Forgive yourself for self-sabotaging habits because you were just protecting yourself.
• Forgive yourself for having that dessert or late-night snack because you were stressed or mindlessly eating at that moment.
• Forgive yourself for procrastinating and being worried of failure…and success.
• Forgive yourself for not taking a risk and asking for exactly what you want.
• Forgive yourself for not meeting your very high (sometimes unreasonable) expectations.

Well, between you and I, this list could really go on longer for me. And so as a result, I commit to seeing all the ways I can forgive myself and let go a little more, breathe more, here in this moment with each day that comes.

I’ve realized and seen this with clients. When you’re reluctant to forgive yourself, chances are you’re trying to control an outcome of what was, what could be, and/or what you think should be. It’s quite exhausting and limiting to stay unforgiving. Can you see that now?

When there’s a lack of forgiveness showing up for you, your momentum in life and what you ultimately want to accomplish can feel as if you’re not making progress and intensify setbacks causing you to feel discouraged. More on this topic another time.

Forgiving yourself is another way of giving yourself permission to get out of your own way. To see the truth for what it is, rather than hide behind it. If you take self-forgiveness moments, it changes your perspective, and therefore your approach to life. Your mood lifts — you return to feeling happy, liberated, and finding your inner calm again.

There are a few forgiveness practices that I do on a regular basis and teach my clients. Like in all coaching, it’s also good to get to the core of what’s coming up for lasting change and impact.

If I may suggest, consider (Think/ Talk Aloud/ Journal/ Meditate/ Walk/Run):

-  In what ways, do you need to forgive yourself? (List it all out)
-  If you truly were to forgive yourself, what would that mean?
-  What would you possibly have to change or let go of? (Focus on what, not when for the moment.)
-  What would that feel like or look like for you?

Your willingness to acknowledge and forgive can be enough to shift you internally and redirect you to where you want to go. It’s the first step. Being brave enough and honest with yourself to see the truth with self-compassion and acceptance. Followed by taking aligned actions to make the changes.

Allow yourself to relax, recover, live, laugh, love, flow, be more present, and acknowledge what you’ve accomplished despite setbacks. Forgive yourself and Keep showing up. I’m here for you.

Did this resonate with you? Curious to know. Also, tell me how this forgiveness practice went for you. Either hit reply on this email (sarina@crself.com), or text or DM me on Instagram or Threads for motivational and encouraging words.

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May this inspire you to show up in your life today, tomorrow, and always.
I deeply honor you. Thank-you for being here with me! – Sarina

Sarina Tomel
Leadership/Mindset Coach + HR/Training Consultant
Speaker ~ Writer ~ AdventureSeeker

Sarina is working on a memoir about recovery through running, repeated heartbreak, and healing the trauma.

Sarina teaches and coaches her clients on how to Step up, Speak up, and Stand up for their careers, relationships, and well-being.

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P.S. Besides 1:1 coaching/consulting/strategy sessions, I also partner with my clients on their needs and challenges related to training + coaching workshops, teambuilding or strategy/focus group sessions, and motivational keynote speaking.

Have you noticed any issues or challenges at work that need to be addressed that are within my expertise? If so, let’s connect or get me in touch with your CEO/President/Founder or HR/Training & Development team!

Check out my Let’s Work Together page for more details. Here’s the link to schedule a consult to discuss further.

i.e. All Communication-Related: Difficult Conversations, Team Accountability, Managing Up, Speaking up, Aligning on Expectations and Productivity/Performance Concerns + More.