Just when I’m feeling confident and reconnected to who I am and what I bring to a relationship, I then start to get some anxiety. I don’t understand because I’ve released the need to be too attached to the outcome and getting too far ahead of myself. Somehow, that doesn’t matter, because the stakes are higher this time. I’m starting to feel emotionally invested in this relationship and everything changes.
I’m worried about messing it up and making the same mistakes I’ve made in my past relationships. I’m worried about if I match the criteria on his checklist for a life partner.
Oh, my goodness, I’ve got to calm down and get a grip on this anxiety before it gets the best of me and ruins this relationship. Breathe, run, yoga, meditate! Repeat often. In fact, meditate daily for about 15 -20 minutes. Yes, I know what to do this time! I choose to face my fears and anxiety rather than run away or not acknowledge them. I’ve got a strategy to calm myself down and to get centered again.
Aghhh, then it happens! Everything from past relationships starts to come up for me. When I say everything I mean my fears, my doubts, my insecurities, my self-limiting beliefs, because my ego/fear self is trying to sabotage this new relationship. Why? Because this relationship is different than the previous ones and the ego/fear self doesn’t like different. The ego/fear self prefers drama and suffering, over happiness and inner-peace and love.
Then combine the ego/fear self with the feelings a loss of balance and lack of control and forget it. Hello, walks in irrational emotional self. Let me introduce you to irrational emotional self. She cries over not making it to the bank because now her schedule is all thrown off from consciously deciding to sleep in, and pushing off going to yoga to the next day to spend a nice leisurely morning with her boyfriend.
Yes, that was me! At least my boyfriend knew it clearly wasn’t about making it to the bank or about him and he is beyond patient and understanding! After breaking down into a crying moment, at the bottom of the stairs about never being able to make it to the bank to deposit checks, I then had to go back upstairs to my bathroom to finish crying and letting it all out – the disappointment, frustration and overwhelm all with myself. In just moments after, I felt sense of relief for honoring my emotions. Of course, I then had to redo my mascara. Then it felt like a new day! My boyfriend waited patiently for me to have this moment while calling out to me a few times, “Honey, are you fine?” “Honey, are you ready to go now?” We have since laughed about this occurrence few times.
Luckily for me, I’m a very self-aware and an intuitive person who knows exactly when I’m out of balance and what to do to get back into balance rather quickly. Also, really grateful to have a boyfriend who loves how self-aware I am and how I express my feelings and communicate. At the same time, I’m committed to giving this relationship a true chance!
I now know what I need to work through in order to have the relationship I desire with a life partner. Thank-you ego/fear self for showing me this! My loving self is going to take over from here, thank-you! I surrender to the love inside me. I surrender to receiving love. Namaste!
C&R Self – Awareness Exercise with Self-Mantra Practice
Are you feeling blocked in the relationship part of your life? Or perhaps you feel just disconnected to your authentic self. Then commit to shifting your focus to attract what you desire into your life.
Be sure to find a comfortable and quiet place in your home and make this your ritual place where you come back to reconnect to yourself. Start your day reciting the below statement either in your mind or out loud. Then close your eyes for at least a minute and let it become a moment to honor this statement and yourself. Your inner authentic self has your best intentions at heart, so nurture this part of yourself to create the abundance you wish to have in your life.
“I choose to see this differently and come from a place of love. I know love did not create this chaos or drama. So I’m asking my inner authentic self to please guide me in the right direction. I surrender to the love inside me. I surrender to receiving love. I know I’m good enough. I know I’m worth it.“
Keep repeating this Self-Mantra or one of the previous Self-Mantras shared that resonates with you the most everyday for the next 30-40 days to create a shift and then every time this disconnect comes up for you in the future. Remember you’re worth it and deserving of happiness and abundance in all areas of your life! So make time for your dedication.
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Over the next few months, we’ll be discussing common Fears that others experience and some strategies to conquer these Fears! Finally, if you feel inspired by this article, then like it, share it, and/or comment below. Also, be sure to Join the Courageous & Remarkable Self Movement! Sign up to get even more Insight, Strategies, and Stories that will move you towards Recognizing and Embracing your Courageous & Remarkable Self! Namaste!
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